Talking truth about "self-improvement" as it relates to health, overall wellness and expressing the truest version of you. This is Marta Mrotek with Something Honest…..

So, I’m officially admitting that I’ve spent a good portion of my adult life trying to quiet my overactive mind. I’ve always been prone to running circles inside my head. And if you know me personally that might come as a surprise to you. I’m usually pretty quiet about it. But my personal struggle with that kind of mental pain was always just that.. painful.. and very personal. It took me a long time to start talking my own struggle and learning to discipline my thoughts. And it took a lot of practice for me to realize that discipline ultimately equals freedom.

So much of the work that we’re about to do here with the Discipline Principle relates to the work that we’ve already done with Humility and Love. All of the work that you’ve done up to this point is just one principle building on the next. Getting ready for this moment where we finally, kind of, spring into action and everything takes off. We’re going to use all of the information that we’ve gained so far, especially in relationship to self-love, understanding who you are and who you really want to be, taking into account everything that needs changing. We’ve got a list.. and all of the really great things about you that are going to help you do what needs to be done now. Applying all of that to a growing sense of Love and respect for others, starting to feel that shift in perspective and using it to be absolutely certain about what’s the next right thing. And this whole idea of the next right thing, that we’ve been talking about from the start, really comes into play now as we discipline ourselves to take physical action. We’re not just studying ourselves anymore, not just making lists, not just thinking, or wishing, or planning… but now it’s actually time to start doing.

We’re going to go through a few different kinds of discipline today and a little bit about what discipline really means. And we’re going back to that method from yogic philosophy that starts with the really obvious, really big stuff that we can see on the outside, taking action there and slowly working our way in to that more subtle, more internal activity… And that’s where we’ll start, with the stuff we can see on the physical plane…

TALKING POINT 1: PHYSICAL DISCIPLINE

In the last bonus episode, I talked about the difference between resolutions and intentions. I did mention that I do think sometimes resolutions are easily broken, and that they might even feel more like wishes than real attainable goals. So I wanted to talk a little bit about the physical discipline that it takes to see real change in your everyday life and how having real actionable fitness goals can be a really good way to learn something about not just how to reshape your physical body but a really powerful example as you start reshaping your physical reality in general. And we’ll talk more about how to start taking action and the next step toward seeing what you want in physical form in the Discipline Study Journal. But for right now I’d like for you to start thinking about just the physical body itself and consider something, even if it’s something small, that you’d like to change about your physical fitness.

And as always, I try to go back to my own story to find something that might be helpful as you start to think about yours… If you’ve been listening along from the start you already know that the physical practice of yoga played a huge part in healing so many of the grief and loss issues that had literally poisoned my, you know, mental landscape for most of my life. Meditation helped, and that does take a whole lot of discipline, but for me, the physically demanding practice of hot yoga was the big game changer. I needed that kind of intense physical outlet for energy. I needed something really physical to focus on and I didn’t even know it at the time but since there was very little that I could change about most of my outside circumstances I needed to see some kind of physical progress. I needed something that was concrete and, something that was in some way, measurable to remind me that I was still a powerful entity and that I did at least have some amount of control over what was happening with my own body. And I’m sure you’ve heard me say that you don’t have to be into yoga for this to work, and that’s true! So today I wanted to give another example that has nothing to do with yoga that applies directly to something that I’m working on right now to keep that physical momentum going.

If you know me at all you would probably say that I’m pretty fit for a woman in her fifties. I’m not really carrying any extra weight, I’m flexible and pretty strong from years of rigorous yogic practice. And while that’s all great, the physical benefits have never really been my primary focus. I was just working on getting physically grounded and burning off that excess energy so that I could quiet my mind down. And I’ll stand by that because it works! Yoga is still my favorite way to do that, the most reliable way I know, to attain some amount of mental stillness. But I will say that after many years of that same kind of physical discipline you can kind of go on autopilot. At some point it’s not quite as challenging as it used to be, and you do tend to kind of plateau at some point at least in regard to the physical benefits and the results that you can actually see in the mirror. And again, I don’t think that comes even close to being the most important part of what we’re doing here. Most of that has to do with attaining higher levels of mental, emotional and spiritual health. But there is no denying the motivation and satisfaction that comes from getting physically stronger, seeing concrete results and a different level of energy that comes from seeing that kind of progress.

So, just recently I’ve started working on two really big, for me, fitness goals. I decided that I wanted to be able to do at least 20 really perfect pushups with no modifications and at least 10 real pull ups. And depending whether or not you think those are lofty goals will really depend on your own perspective. But for me, they really are way up there, because I can barely do one perfect push up and I’ve never done a pull up, not even one, in my entire life. And you might think that because I’m physically active and relatively fit maybe that shouldn’t be too hard for me… But honestly, until I started doing yoga, I had never been all that into physical exercise. It all felt like a chore. I never really enjoyed it. I could never really stick with it. And even though I’ve always been really active, for lots of reasons, I never had any interest in going to the gym or running or any of what most people consider you know, structured physical exercise. So, this is something new for me. And maybe something that some of you can relate to more than the yoga thing. So I think I might start sharing about it here, with some bonus episodes for updates, and posts on social media to encourage you to play along with me… I don’t know exactly how that looks just yet, but, I might even put a little blog out there to talk about some of what I’m doing to meet my goals on the website.

In any case the big point here is that as we work through the rest of the talking points today I want to remind you that it really helps to start with something tangible. To start with something that you can do to take action, with practical steps that lead to something that you can actually see taking shape in physical form. And that might not even be something that relates to physical fitness. It doesn’t mean that you have to go on a diet or start doing yoga or going to the gym. You might be working on getting your physical environment in order, your living space the way you want it, or taking up a hobby that includes making something that you can see and touch. There really are no limits to what it is that you’d like to create, and it doesn’t have to be something big that takes long time to attain either. Physical discipline in its simplest form is simply execution, right? Doing something that leads to a specific goal. It’s about taking action and that doesn’t just apply to physical exercise it applies to every action that you choose to take. Some of it will certainly relate to interactions with other people, like making amends or working with others through some kind of service. But getting out of your head and getting physically active, getting into the physical body, is a great way to get grounded and a really good way to prove to yourself that you can in fact change your physical experience. And all of that goes a long way to changing your mental state which leads to talking point number two..

TALKING POINT 2: MENTAL DISCIPLINE

If we go back to the intro and my own struggle with mental discipline it all really all relates to my primary character defect. And just a quick reminder, again, those things that we’ve been calling defects or flaws are really just pointers to what needs to change and really useful tools for understanding where you’re out of alignment with who you’re really supposed to be. And for me, the one that shows up most, and the thing that I’ve struggled with most and caused me the most pain is overthinking. I don’t think I’m alone in that. I hear a lot of people talking about that.

My brand of overthinking usually shows up as worry… And, even though I would love to tell you that I’ve got that totally under control and that it never happens to me anymore, that would just be not true. That would be a lie… The only thing that I’ve really got going for me, the one thing I’ve learned and the thing that has saved me over and over again goes back to the work we did with Humility. It took a while for me to find a reliable method for studying myself, but I have managed to cultivate a sense of self-awareness so that I can at least recognize it when it’s happening. And that’s key. Once you’ve got that you can start using some of what we were just talking about and apply a physical discipline, creating a practice that helps you get out of your head. And instead of falling into that downward spiral you’ve got some practical steps with some hopefully, clearly defined action that can be taken to start turning things around. And again, meditation is a huge part of that for me, that’s what I started with and I recommend it for everyone. But I think for most people it’s just easier to start with something that involves some kind of physical movement.

I’ve said it before, it really is hard for most of us to just sit. Seated practice is the more advanced practice. It’s the mental discipline. At first, it’s hard to just sit still and tell yourself not to think. So, my recommendation for most people is to work on the physical discipline first. Use that physical practice of creating a new habit to quiet your mind down a little bit. Having that in place will give you something to do when you notice unwanted thoughts. And back to the mental Discipline, the mental practice really is just to notice when those thoughts are active. Recognizing them, being able to notice them, before they run wild, gives you an opportunity to choose something else. And maybe that’s just taking a slow deep breath, that is physical action. Maybe it’s something really big in your head and that might take something more than breathing, but breathing is always a good place to start. After a couple of breaths it gets easier to see what’s next. Maybe something even more physical. My daughter takes off running or jumps in an ice cold shower or pool sometimes… and even though neither one of those totally appeal to me but you have to find what works for you. Maybe there really is something constructive that you can do right now to rectify the situation that’s in your head but you probably won’t think of it until you can see things clearly. And quieting your thoughts leads you to the information that is truly useful. But no matter how you choose to address those thoughts once you notice them at least you’re a different head space where you can see them for what they are… you know, just recognizing that they’re thoughts… They really are just thoughts. I know it doesn’t always feel that way but that’s the truth. And if there is no action to take and nothing that can be done right now you can go back to the work we did on surrender and letting go and start moving into acceptance. We’re back to that idea of changing your emotional state and that takes us to something even more subtle but an even more powerful tool. Understanding your emotions… That’s Talking Point number three..

TALKING POINT 3: EMOTIONAL DISCIPLINE

If you’ve read anything about emotional Discipline you know that most of it has to do with stress management. And that is certainly at least a part of what we’re doing here. For some of us, especially at certain times in life, it’s easy to get caught up in emotions and this very much relate to what I keep calling the downward spiral. And since we feed most of the emotional stuff with our thoughts, it makes a lot of sense that we need to work on creating a mental discipline to master our thoughts and finding some semblance of mental health if we want to be emotionally healthy.

In many ways our emotions can be seen as a physiological response to whatever we’re thinking about. Even if they come up in relationship to a currently unfolding dramatic or traumatic experience there is usually some amount of thinking that happens to at least process whatever is happening. And you know it, you’ve felt it, your emotions can make your heart race, or your stomach turn and truly in some cases they can make us physically ill. And most of those physical responses are pretty normal, at least on some level. We’ve all felt at least some of that. It’s normal for animals to tremble after a stressful or traumatic event. That really is how they burn off some of that excess energy. And the same is true for us. We’re just a different kind of animal. Our problem is that we are often either exacerbating our emotional response with negative thoughts or in many cases we’re ignoring them. Shoving the emotions and thoughts down without every releasing any of that energy or addressing the underlying cause.

That’s always been my biggest struggle. Taking all of that worry and all of the thoughts that have to do with grief, or loss or any other kind of pain and just shutting it down is still something that I want to do. I just kind of do it automatically. I have, over time figured out why that’s my go to. And often, because all of that emotion and energy sits there, simmering and even though I’m ignoring it, it can keep building. And when I finally do let myself feel what’s been all bottled up in there it blows itself way out of proportion. And if that’s ever happened to you, you know that it is very hard to reign it all in and see if for what it is once it gets to that point. I have said that I think it’s important to feel and explore your feelings and I mean it. We’re definitely not trying to suppress the emotions that come up. We do need to feel them and we are in some way learning to manage them. But this is really more about learning to understand them and figure out what they’re trying to tell us about what needs to change. We’ve already spent a fair amount of time talking about how you can actually start using your emotions for guidance. And much like the mental practice and noticing thoughts as they surface, most of this hinges on your ability to recognize your emotions and study them before they run wild. And everything that we’ve talked about up to this point, and really everything that inspires us to taking meaningful action leads to the idea of energetic discipline and practice and we’ll talk more about that we come back from the break.

We’ll be back with more on the Principle of Discipline and the challenge question for this week in just a moment.

We’ve been talking about some of the different kinds of Discipline and worked our way up to Talking Point number four.

TALKING POINT 4: ENERGETIC DISCIPLINE

We’ve touched on the subject of energetic discipline in previous episodes. And now it’s time to take a closer look at what we really mean when we talk about the disciplined use of energy. This is this principle that drives us into right action. It takes us to something that’s meaningful and useful and productive. That includes being able to discipline the body, the physical vehicle for change, being physically healthy and finding the physical energy for whatever it is that needs to be done… Being able to discipline the mind, learning to move to that higher, kind of outside perspective so that you can witness and study your thoughts and patterns…. Being able to discipline your emotions, and instead of spiraling down with them, use them for guidance, let them show you where you’re out of alignment and what needs to change. All of that together gives you a really clear picture of where and how to spend your energy. What needs to be done? And what needs to be left alone? What’s worth your attention, time and energy and what’s not? How will it effect you and everyone around you?... The answers to all of those questions and more will come with practice. And every mindful energetic practice, whether it’s a physical, mental or emotional discipline, brings you a little closer to who you were always meant to be.

And I know from personal experience that some of that work is going to be challenging. Some of it really will take a commitment. A decision that you are willing to put in the work no matter what it takes. Some of it will probably be uncomfortable at first. And some if it will be pretty hard… Nobody said that it would all be easy. I know I never said that… Simple, yes, most of it is simple, but easy? Probably not, at least not at first. Some of it going to take a lot of effort, that’s just a fact. But I’m here to tell you that it’s worth it. The best part of this whole thing is that in really is synergistic. The energetic shift will feed energy levels in the physical body, it almost certainly change the way you think and help to balance out your emotions. And all of will lead to finding the right kind of energy for whatever it is that you’d like to create. So, what is the right kind of energy? What’s the right attitude for this kind of work? That takes us to talking point number five..

TALKING POINT 5: SELF-DISCIPLINE AND DISCIPLESHIP

Many people, and I include myself in this to some extent, start out with some kind of negative connotation attached to the word discipline. It can hold some amount of punishment at first and while that can come from the way were raised and the way we may have been judged or corrected or treated harshly by other people in the past now we’re talking about self-discipline. There really is simply shift in perspective that can be applied for this… The root word for discipline is disciple, latin for pupil or student, and I believe truly, when it comes to disciplining yourself it really helps to look at yourself as BOTH the teacher and the student. This is you lovingly training you. This is you getting humble and clear enough to see what really needs to be done. This is you loving yourself and everybody else enough to make a real change. To fix whatever it is that needs to be fixed. And to take that action without any resentment or malice. That really plays a big part. You’ve got to start thinking about this as something good. None of this is punishment. None of it. This is that really smart, really tapped in, teacher in you showing you what needs to happen next. This is when all that really good stuff inside you starts spilling out into the world. This is the beginning of the physical manifestation and even if it’s hard to do sometimes it’s not harsh, it’s never harmful, it’s the kind of hard work that makes something better. And you know it. Something real and lasting and meaningful and something that you can actually see with your eyes, showing up in your everyday life.

And all of this leads to a new sense of focus and the next level kind of willingness that you’re going to need for making amends. And we’ll talk more about that in just a minute, but it comes down to understanding discipline as a form of love. Again, humility and love mixed together. Humility plus Love equals discipline. And ultimately discipline equals freedom…

TALKING POINT 6: DISCIPLINE EQUALS FREEDOM

If you listened to the Humility Talking Points Episode you heard me reference a children’s book that I love, by Jocko Willink, entitled Mikey and the Dragons. And I really don’t care how old you are, you could just read that book and get a lot of what I’m about to talk about here. But Jocko has another book, one that I just read recently for grownups, called Discipline Equals Freedom. And it’s a really easy book to read. I broke it up into little chunks daily but you could read it straight through pretty quickly if you wanted to.. And the reason why I bring it up is because this guy isn’t someone that I would have initially considered a spiritual teacher. I wouldn’t have considered him a spiritual leader even though he is a leader, for sure, no doubt, I won’t go into his military career or what he’s done since, but he has an impressive resume and much of that includes next level leadership skills. But the thing that really gets me about him, and that really got me when I was reading this particular book is that he understands this principle in way that is not only physical, not only mental, or emotional but in a way that to me, conveys a very practical kind of spirituality. And delivered in a way that might really speak to people who aren’t so attracted to most spiritual texts. He really does talk about all of the different kinds of discipline that we’ve talked about here today and his bottom line is that discipline is something that has to come from you…

He says you have to make the decision. You have to make the commitment. You have to embrace it and I’m directly quoting here:

“It will make you better and stronger and smarter and faster and healthier than anything else. And most important: It will make you free.”

And I believe that is a powerful spiritual truth. You can use that to improve anything in any part of your life. And if you apply it to this idea here of making amends?.. If you can change the way you look at this whole thing. If you can discipline yourself to make things right, to do the next right thing, to choose it and commit to it and do it without any hesitation or resentment and give it all you’ve got, with the right attitude… yes? The right attitude, the right kind of energy. Getting really brave, working really hard, getting stronger every day and cleaning things up in every area of your life, this will set you free… It’ll set you free from the past and the thoughts inside your head about the future so that you can just focus on what you can do here and now.. with a clean slate. Every day knowing that you’re true to yourself, you’ve done everything that you could do. And that kind of freedom is everything. It worth any amount of work. This is something that you want. Isn’t it? This is something that’s good for you. This is something truly great! This is what leads you to the real you. This is how you actually become who you really are….

So, let’s go over the talking points again before we go:

·      Physical practice and physical fitness as a discipline can be a great way to start shaping your physical experience.

·      And you can easily take what you learn from that physical practice and use it as a practical method for disciplining your mind.

·      You can use that new method for processing thoughts to discipline, to process and understand your emotions and use them for guidance.

·      And all of that comes into play as you learn to use your energy wisely, creating a strong energetic discipline and practice.

·      Reminding yourself that self-discipline really is just you lovingly training you to be the best version of you.

·      And knowing that in that decision, in that commitment, by embracing this principle of discipline and moving into right action you set yourself free.

Now we’re ready for this week’s challenge question.

CHALLENGE QUESTION

The question for Discipline is, “What can I do right now to move toward something entirely good?” That is a super open-ended question. You’re the one who decides what that is… Nobody else can do that for you. At this point you probably do have a pretty good idea of what needs to be done, what you want and who you want to be. And there’s a strong probability that there’s some real work ahead but it starts here with the decision to take action. That you’re going to stop wishing, or thinking, or planning and start doing. You don’t have to have it all figured out. We’ll talk about it more in the study journal, but for now just let the question move through your head and start putting all of the pieces together from the work that we’ve done. You already have all of the information that you need in there somewhere, I know you do. You probably know what needs to be done at this point… and now it’s time to do it. Life is about to change. And you’re ready for it.

Come find us out there on social media, hashtags for this week are Something Honest and Discipline Challenge. We are going to add on #DisciplineEqualsFreedom and you might even tag @jockowillink if you decide to play along. Next up, you’ll want to check out the Discipline Study Journal for a little more direction on what comes next. Don’t forget to check out all THREE Discipline episodes to start bringing what you want into your physical reality.

Thanks so much for listening. Check the links in the description to find what you need or go wellnessmeetings.com for show notes or details about this season’s….. Something Honest is a Wellness Meetings production with original music composed and produced by James Mrotek at Mrotek Media.

This is Marta Mrotek sending out all the love and so much gratitude. Until next time, let’s get to work on being well.