Talking truth about "self improvement" as it relates to health, overall wellness and expressing the truest version of you. This is Marta Mrotek with Something Honest…..

I can’t say that I’ve ever been through physical trauma. I had a horribly broken leg one time and went into shock but besides having babies that’s the only thing that I can really think of... A lot of what we’re going to talk about today has to do with feelings of safety and basic human needs so you might assume that’s a physical thing. But I absolutely do believe in mental trauma and I believe that sometimes our safety can feel threatened in ways that can’t be seen from the outside. I think there are a lot of healthy connections that get broken when we’re reliving something so painful over and over again. Hope is about making new connections.

Hi Everybody, this is Marta and today we are getting ready to work on Hope, with some information to help you know when and why to practice and a simple method for enhancing your connection with an Energetic Source. If you haven’t listened to the Hope Talking Points Episode yet you might want to go back for an introduction to this Principle. If you’re ready to look at some of the benefits of connection practice be sure to stick around until the end for my answer to this week’s challenge question and ideas for how to play along and enter the drawing for our new Principle Intentions Card Deck and Guide.

This is all preparation for the Hope Challenge, so don’t forget to look for that one next, we’ll take this time to get ready for next time where we’ll put the entire practice together with guided instructions for creating a regular connection ritual, a simple idea for physical connection practice and a short guided mediation.

We’ll start getting ourselves ready here with some indications, or feelings that point to when and why we might need to connect, we’ll talk about the benefits of growing that connection and wrap it up with a journaling exercise to set you up for getting the most out of the experience.

You’re probably starting to notice a pattern for how this method is applied. The first part of the process is once again, to recognize the feelings that point to an immediate need for connection rituals so that you can use them as reminders to change your state. We’ll start with some of the most common indications, or feelings, that come up, including but certainly not limited to…

Indications for Connection Practice

Isolation and Despair. Those are just the first tow that come to my mind. There are so many ways that this can play out but there some physical pointers that are worth mentioning. Generalized lethargy and often just the desire to escape through sleep are at one end of the spectrum but sometimes the exact opposite is the case with anxious feeling and insomnia as the more obvious signs. Since the physical indications can be subtle and differ from person to person, this is a great time to pay attention to emotions and thoughts that might be standing out more strongly as obvious pointers to some kind of disconnect. Feelings of loneliness and helplessness in particular can hold valuable information for areas that are asking for your attention. But what if there is something in your physical environment that needs to change first? And what if you’re going through something that actually feels dangerous?

We’ve already talked about the basic need to feel safe and common emotions that relate to feeling like you’re under assault.. and maybe even times when your entire way of life feels threatened. Any threat to physical safety would definitely be at the top of that list.. and I always want to pause when we touch on anything like this and say please don’t wait to reach out for help if this applies to you. If you’re in physical danger the work that we are doing here can wait until your physical safety is secure. If what we’re talking about is unaddressed mental trauma, again, look for resources in your area to help you find what you need right now. But if we’re talking about something more subtle, especially when we’re talking about an almost abstract feeing of isolation or unidentified disconnect we can do some investigation by looking at the more subtle symptoms of hopelessness, with a few more indications for connection practice.

Excessive negative thoughts, cynicism or pessimism. While there are some people who feel overcome by negative thinking, for most of us this is something that might be going on in the background and really hard to recognize. Sometimes we don’t even know we’re doing it until someone else brings it to our attention. Which usually sucks to hear… but sometimes that’s what it takes. When our thoughts are automatically going to the worst-case scenario on a regular basis it can be hard to even imagine something good happening. I’m not pointing fingers here, I have to catch myself when I do it too, we even laugh about it, “Oh of course, Murphy’s law, like that’s gonna work, not with my luck….” I get it, sometimes that might help to break some of the mental tension when you feel like you’re on a bad roll. But what happens when it turns into an underlying expectation. What are we actually affirming with that kind of thinking? And not just with our thoughts but with those words spoken words, outloud repeatedly? What are we rehearsing for and calling out for when seemingly harmless pessimism turns into an ongoing habit?

Hope asks us to reach for, and believe in, something more.  It asks us to look for possibilities and to start believing in the best possible outcome.  That’s no easy task when it feels like things haven’t been going your way and especially hard to do when you’re still in the middle of something that’s really painful, but Hope reminds us that it doesn’t have to be this way forever, it reminds us that change is always coming, and what if I could find an opportunity here, even in this, what if I could make something good in the middle of this?  Making a connection with something bigger than you are all by yourself gives you not only a Source of Postive Energy but a place to lay your burdens. Sometimes there’s even a physical sense of relief when you finally set some of those really heavy things down. And that’s just the first on our list of benefits for connection practice.

Benefits of Connections Practice

Feelings of relief and safety come first for obvious reasons. Once basic needs are met in our physical environment we can focus on deepening healthy connections in the body itself, the mind and aspects of spiritual life. It helps to remember that all of these aspects can be addressed at the same time. The realization that all systems of the body, mind and spirit are connected is one of the most important shifts that we can make for reversing the downward spiral of energy.

Those feelings of increased energy are another primary benefit, and I’m not talking about that nervous energy here, this is that stable healthy energy that we talked about in the Truth Episodes… and here, with Hope, it’s starting to grow. Even if your experience is still emotionally charged, this energetic shift brings new opportunities for growth and positive change to the surface. And that happens with increasing frequency if you commit to making this a regular practice.

Newfound optimism, even in small amounts, can be a benefit and a powerful motivator as we start moving in a new direction. It’s good to know that it might not happen all once but hopefully you’re ready to embrace the idea that this method works by applying it one day at a time, sometimes just one moment at time, until these new patterns and habits are set. Opening ourselves up to possibility often leads to new relationships and even more resources to help us through the process.

This leads to one more benefit and a resource that you can start drawing from right now through community and fellowship. Feelings of connection can come in so many different forms. Some of those feelings will come from a relationship with a Higher Power, some come from direct human interaction but in a world with so much technology we can find fellowship in a supportive community here in an online presence. Just the understanding that there are other people who have felt something similar can make all the difference. That’s the main reason we encourage finding us on your favorite social media platforms and maybe even joining our Facebook group to get connected with other people who are listening and following along with you. Knowing that you’re not alone opens so many doors to finding the resources for growing positive energy.

If you’re ready to start working on creating your own connection practice and you haven’t started a study journal yet I recommend going back and check out that Study Journal Episode for Truth. You can start right now with any notebook.

If you’ve a certain section of your notebook or a separate journal for notetaking and you haven’t already made and entry for Hope you might want to add one today by writing something like, Hope Study or Hope Notes and the date. This can be as simple as you’d like it to be. You might start by just taking a few minutes to write something, literally anything, that helps you reflect and process whatever you’ve learned about the Hope Principle so far. But if you’re ready to go a little deeper I’ve got some simple journaling prompts and a short writing exercise that can be helpful as we prepare for the Practice Challenge Episode.

First, we’ll pause for a quick break, we’ll back in 60 seconds or less to work on starting triggers that apply directly to working with the Principle of Hope.

We’re back! Working together on identifying starting triggers and some preparation for creating a starting ritual that applies specifically to Hope.

So here is another way to start using your emotions and thoughts as reminders for when you need to practice and helpful preparation for the Hope Challenge.

 Starting Trigger Exercise

We’ll start here with an exercise very similar to the one we went through for Truth. If you’ve got your journal close by you’ll start at the top of a blank page and write: Hope Starting Triggers The objective is to identify those triggers (specific behaviors, situations, thought patterns or emotions) that commonly come to the surface of your attention when you’re feeling something in the realm of hopelessness. Anything that takes you down that dark path in your mind that says something like, “I can’t take this anymore..” OR “Why does this always happen to me?” OR “This is never going to work or never going to end or resolve itself…” OR “Nobody understands… ” Any of that stuff that says I CAN’T or NEVER/ALWAYS or NOBODY is probably a good pointer. Whether or not anything comes to your mind immediately, we’re going to take a slow deep breath, a big breath in and a long soft sigh to let it out… See if you can be still, then let the breath move naturally, opening yourself up to whatever automatically floats to the surface of your attention.  Hopefully you’ve got something to write on but even if you don’t you can do this your head and come back later to write. Remember this is not an affirmation, but an emotional statement just a statement of fact. Common triggers for this one can include, “when I feel mentally exhausted or physically exhausted or overextended,” especially if you feel that way most of the time. Or maybe it’s something like, “when I feel like nothing is working out” or something more broad like, “when I feel critical, cynical or pessimistic” or maybe it’s more about a feeling, “when I feel threatened by (whatever you feel threatened by)”, “when I’m overwhelmed by (whatever feels overwhelming or out of control)”, or if it’s a behavior, “when I want to (something you want to stop doing)” or “when I don’t want to (something that you want to or know you should do)” or anything that feels like, “when I think about (whatever you’re thinking that start the process of any downward spiral or leads to any unwanted state of mind or behavior)”. Some of these examples apply to any information seeking process for any principle, and you’ll hear them on a regular basis, mostly because you’re the only one who knows what this feels like for you.

Reminding yourself that you aren’t really trying to erase any of these things, you’re just identifying them and willing to learn from them.  Once you have something to work on, even if it’s just one or two things, big or small, leave the rest of the page blank, so it turns into an ongoing list for Hope Starting Triggers. Then pick just one thing to start with, you can mark it with a star or some other “positive feeling” way to label it as something that needs your attention.

At the top of your next page I’d like you to write Hope Starting Ritual … And on the first line you’ll write When I…. and then add whatever you wrote for that one item that you chose to work on with no period at the end of the sentence, and we’ll come back to finish that statement after we have established the starting ritual. When you’re done you should have something like, “When I start doing or thinking about whatever it is that you don’t want to do or think about. OR when I want to do or think about something that you really do want to do or think about but you’re just not doing it.” Remember, it works both ways. You’re not always trying to get rid of something, sometimes you’re just trying to make something and there are feelings that come up for both of them so explore it.

Once you feel like you’ve got a handle on the trigger itself you’ll want to create a new starting ritual that reminds you to practice before any habitual mental process or behavior takes over. And that’s what we’ll do in the Hope Challenge.

If you’d like to investigate areas where you might be experiencing some form of disconnect a little further I would recommend going back to the Hope Talking Points Episode and whenever you’re ready, either mentally or even better, with a few simple journal prompts take the time to ask yourself: “Do I feel this emotion (whatever it is) in my physical body? Are there any physical sensations or symptoms that go along with it?” You don’t need to write a novel about it but if that’s what feels right take your time.. If the answer is no, simply move on and ask yourself a similar question about your mind.. “Is this something that plays in my head? Are there active thoughts that go along with an emotion that keeps coming up for me?” Again, without overthinking, but taking as much time as you need and if this is something that comes up for you on a regular basis see if you can identify the last time it happened and how that felt. Can you think of anything that helps you recognize this particular thought process or behavior looming before it actually happens? How does it start? Write it all out, this is a great way to prepare yourself for practice and such a simple tool for investigating emotions.

Challenge Question

We’ve got one more question and it’s our Challenge Question for Hope: “What helps most when you feel hopeless?” And while I do usually like to frame questions in a way that helps to affirm something good, I think it’s okay to very briefly investigate the seemingly negative things, for a moment. Then we can reframe the question with just a little shift in how we ask the question, “What makes you feel hopeful?” It’s just another little shift in perspective that can make it easier to look for the positive aspects. What leads to feeling more positive? Maybe you have some new ideas for what might help as you work through the process. What are some of the big and small things that can make a difference?

My answer to this question is really simple and it’s to get up and get moving. For me the energy that comes from, especially intentional movement, and specifically when it’s focused on intentional breathing, is the most reliable method for me to start moving my thoughts and emotions toward something hopeful.

We really do believe that all of this works better when we work on it together so if you’d like to play along we’re just starting a Something Honest Facebook Group to help you find more benefits, more discussion and interaction with other listeners who are working on applying the principles. It’s also a great way to share your experience with the Challenge every week and to find answers to any questions that you might have after the show. Don’t forget every single person who joins the group will automatically be entered in this season’s drawing to win our brand new intention setting card deck and the Principle Intentions Guidebook. You can find links in the description to join the group, or to connect with us on your favorite social media platforms so that you can post to play for even more chances to win and enhance your personal practice.

So many thanks to all of you for listening. Make sure you’re set to get notifications, come back for the Hope Practice Challenge and don’t forget to check out all THREE Hope Episodes to start growing the positive energy in every area of your experience.

Check our links in the description to find show notes on somethinghonest.com and go to wellnessmeetings.com for more about the Wellness Meetings Method. Something Honest is a Wellness Meetings production with original music composed and produced by James Mrotek at Mrotek Media.

This is Marta Mrotek sending out so much love, so much gratitude. Until next time, let’s get to work on being well.