Talking truth about "self-improvement" as it relates to health, overall wellness and expressing the truest version of you. This is Marta Mrotek with Something Honest…..

Sometimes something really huge happens that helps you remember who you really are.. Something that reminds you of who you were always meant to be and almost immediately strips away the false perceptions of the ego. That kind of sudden self-awareness often comes with a moment of clarity, inspired by very intense, sometimes crushing and painful, but sometimes in really wonderful, and almost miraculous experiences. But that’s not always how it happens. Sometimes it happens quickly, no matter how it comes, that new level of awareness is found from being able see ourselves from a higher point of view.

Today we’ll be putting just a little bit of a twist on the idea of self-study. And that’s something that we’ve already been working on but now we’re here with a new understanding of what Humility means and how we can use it to gain a deeper understanding of our True Selves. We’ll go through a journaling exercise at the end that will help with this, but we’ll start with some indications, emotions and sometimes what we might call character flaws that point to the need for an energetic practice.

And before we even get into that I think it’s important to mention that if we really want to take the idea of information seeking to the next level we’ll be looking at any of the emotions that come up whether they relate specifically to this Principle or not. I talk a lot about how anything that comes to the surface during any kind of energetic practice can be used to study yourself and the idea that you’re really kind of creating a little microcosm of your life when you’re doing this kind of work with intention. And the methods for creating that microcosm can include things that aren’t so physical, lots of different things, but especially activities like journaling and reflection. You might find something that relates very strongly to another Principle or emotions that aren’t even listed here but it’s all still really valuable information because now we’re looking at every part of what makes you, you. And very intentionally calling out the ego for questioning and shining a really bright light on all of the lies that we’ve been telling ourselves about who we think we are... There’s a whole lot of suffering that goes along with living a lie.

Some of that might be super obvious, like hiding things that you wish you didn’t have to hide, but there are subtle variations that might just come from settling for less than you deserve or allowing something that doesn’t line up with what you really want or what you need to be whole and healthy. So much of the happiness that can be found in this life comes from living in alignment with our True Nature. And once you’ve got that, even in the most challenging circumstances, you really can find something that feels like, you know, safe harbor within yourself. But you’ve got to know where to look for it. And this isn’t really new information that we’re seeking. It’s really more about stripping away all those layers of false perception, and false thinking, and what we’re calling lies that we’ve been piling on forever to create some sense of belonging or a sense of protection from the outside world. This is all in relationship to that filter from the Talking Points episode and how it obscures our ability to perceive the True Self. Somewhere in the middle of just living most of us have forgotten who we are… And most of what we’re doing here today has to do with remembering yourself. And almost all of this can be used to incorporate the information we find in the middle of physical experiences and the information that we can only find inside ourselves.

So, let’s take a look at some of the most common characteristics and emotions that might indicate an immediate need for incorporation practice so that you can start using them to study yourself more effectively.

Indications for Practice

And I guess it’s easiest to start with the most obvious which would be pride, at least that what most people think of in regard to the need for Humility. And usually we think of it in terms of an inflated ego or thinking too much of yourself. But most of the time I think what people call pride has more to do with self-esteem. And whether the ego is under or over inflated doesn’t really make all that much difference. Most often I think what we call a big ego is at least in some way a cover up for all of the ways that we feel like we might be lacking. We can end up attaching so many of our feelings of self-worth to being better than someone else or feeling like we’re winning somehow but really putting someone else down usually makes us feel worse about ourselves, at least in the long run. Another really common behavior that can come up with this has to do with manipulation... the ways that we manipulate other people and the ways also that we let them manipulate us. The ways we judge other people and the how that effects the way we judge ourselves and those feelings of exclusion that almost always come into play. Whether we feel excluded or we’re the ones doing the excluding those feeling of separation take a toll on us. And it often has something to do with that idea of self-esteem, in relationship to feeling self-conscious. Self-consciousness, being overly concerned with the opinions of others or too worried about how we look to other people usually leads to feeling like we need to hide parts of ourselves or present ourselves in a way that isn’t entirely authentic. And I do think that plays a part in that whole idea of imposter syndrome. And even if it doesn’t, even if we really do think that think we’re so great, or especially if we really do think we’re not great at all, we probably don’t have a clear picture of ourselves. A lot of that really does have to do with not loving ourselves enough and that has a lot to do with feeling unloved by other people. And we’ll talk more about all the different kinds of love in future podcasts but for right now it’s mostly about being able to accept ourselves as we are in this moment and see what needs to change… Recognizing our flaws, taking responsibility for what we really can change, without beating ourselves up AND at the same time recognizing all of the those things about ourselves that are already really, really good! We all have at least a little bit of both and if you can really accept who you are and get excited about making the most of what you have you won’t even need me over here babbling in your ear about being the very best version of you.

Benefits of Practice

And that’s just one of the benefits that come along with this kind of practice. The benefits are endless. Especially when you consider the idea that you really can apply any emotion, or characteristic or behavior that comes up in relationship to this principle. But if we’re just talking about that ones that apply very specifically to this, they all really boil down to having a true sense of self-esteem. The kind that no one can take away, and self-confidence that doesn’t rely on anything that comes from outside yourself.  All of the sudden you can see yourself as you are… You can love yourself the way you are and love yourself enough to do whatever needs to be done.

 And if we go back to spiritual texts, not all but most of them, and especially yogic and Buddhist texts, they never say that the benefits of self-study or the journey of self-awareness is only for just a few really special, perfect people. They never say that any of this is outside your reach. They say very little about the need to hold certain beliefs, or gender, or race, or any of the other stuff that we use to label ourselves. Anybody can do this… But you do have to be willing to do the work and do it on a regular basis. Because all of it takes practice.

We’re going pause for a quick break here. You will want to have your journal nearby and we’ll be back the writing exercise to help put just a new twist on self-study and the working with the Principle of Humility.

We’re back and working on a writing exercise for studying ourselves in a new way and applying the Principle of Humility as it relates to seeing the whole Truth about you.

Writing Exercise

The process for this one really is very simple and straight forward. And before you even start, I want you to that you already have all the information that you need for this. We’re going to go back to your original inventory again and this time we’re going to be looking very specifically for what we might call character flaws, and again we’re using that term VERY loosely, they aren’t really flaws, they aren’t defects, everybody has them and truly, I hope that by now you can see all of it as just information. You’ll want to open your journal to a blank page and put something like “Challenging Characteristics” or maybe “Characteristics to Study” at the top. And you can put me on pause here in a minute and read through your inventory again. Just briefly. If you worked your way through the Willingness Study Journal and that’s still fresh in your mind this will probably be pretty easy because a lot of what we’re looking for was probably on all those pieces of paper that you burned. And whenever you come up with something that has been feeling like a flaw, or maybe now you see it more as a challenge, write it down. And write it very simply. I do want you to number these, doesn’t matter how many you have, it’s just so you can reference them in the next step of the exercise. So for me, my first one, would almost certainly be that I worry too much. My whole life, to varying degrees, and yes for sure, even now, that’s something that’s definitely in there. And that’s all I’d write for that. Number one, I worry too much. And just underneath that number two, even if I had something that seemed closely related like, I get lost in the future and the past, I’d write them both down anyway because they both stand out to me. Again, you’re the only one who knows what you need to work on so don’t feel like there’s any way that you can do this wrong. But do try to keep them pretty concise for now because you’ll have a chance to come back and write more about it. Remember you can write anything here, so even if it’s not on your inventory include it. Easy enough? This whole thing might take a while so if you want you can listen all the way through first but if you want to follow along and pause me, now’s the time to pause , so go for it.

Okay, moving on… When you’re done turn to a new blank page and write something like, “Challenging Thoughts” and I really like that because now you’re going to challenge that old way of thinking and really try to look at these characteristics from a higher point of view. You’ll want to start with the first one that you wrote on the first list. Label it again as number one and write about it from the viewpoint of someone who really loves you. Someone you trust, and respect and admire. And if you don’t feel like you have anyone like that right now it’s okay because you actually do.. And you know, that’s you. Talk to yourself as if you were talking to someone you really care about. Write to yourself as if you were writing down all the advice that you would give to someone that you really wanted to help. And there are so many ways that you can do that. You might write about why you think you have this tendency. Is there anything in your inventory that explains it or certain triggers, people, situations or thoughts that bring that characteristic out in you. You might write about the exact opposite of that characteristic, a positive one, and what that might feel like, and also how you could work toward that. You might give yourself actual advice, it might just be free writing, but at least on some level you are looking for a lesson in there, at least something that you can learn about yourself. Again, no way to do it wrong. For me, for that first one, that I worry too much, I might write, “you grew up in a house that was made for worrying and that doesn’t make you a crazy person, it just makes you human. You’ve learned a lot about yourself since then. You’ve been through a lot and you’ve got some tools to help you when you notice it happening. Most of this has to do with being able to accept things that I can’t change. Work on Surrender. Work on letting it be the way it is right now. There’s nothing you can do about this right now so see if you can just let it be and wait for the process to unfold. See what happens.” And when I got to the second one, even though it seems really similar, I’d know the difference. Challenging those thoughts would probably include telling myself to spend more time doing things that bring me into the present moment and working on what I can do right now… Does that make sense? Okay, this part might take a little longer but if you’re pausing, pause and write it out.

When you feel like you’re finished you’ll do the exact same thing with some of those positive characteristics that you listed. Turn to the next blank page and write something like, “Uplifting Characteristics” or maybe “Characteristics to Explore” at the top. Make your list, making sure to number them. And when you’re all done you’ll turn to the next blank page and write something this time like, “Uplifting Thoughts” and I really like that, not just because they’re all good things but because these really are the qualities that you already possess that can lift you up and help you see yourself as you are, as you really are… There are already so many good things about you, it really is time to explore them. Write to yourself again for each one. Write about how you can use this great thing about you to grow or to make it through something that’s hard, or to work on some of those characteristics that you find challenging. How could you do more of this? How could you feel like that part of you more often? My first one would probably be that I like to help people, I have a lot of compassion for people who struggle. And I’d give myself some credit for that. It’s okay to do that, you know. I could think of lots of ways that I could do that more. Ways that I could even apply that to helping myself and having more compassion for me. Taking the time to really appreciate what you’ve already got. Think about who you really are… Think about who you were meant to be. Not from some overblown egoic perspective but from a place where you can see yourself and all those really good things about you clearly. This is something that you can use this anytime. You don’t always have to have great big lists. Anytime you notice something about yourself that you can use for self-study, it doesn’t matter whether it’s something you might see as an attribute or a flaw, this is an easy way to lift yourself up to that higher point of view and look for the real truth about you.

 Before we go, we’re going to  talk real quick about this week’s question.

CHALLENGE QUESTION

So, the question this time is pretty simple and hopefully it’s getting easier to answer with every podcast, “What’s the real truth about you?” That really is the point of everything that we’re doing with this principle and all of it relates to seeing past all of those things that we might consider flaws and that idea of asking for them to be removed. And to me really, right here when we say “asking” I really feel like we’re going back to Willingness and the idea of making space for something new in your life.

My answer to this question always comes back to understanding what needs to change, what needs to be accepted, what needs to grow... And I know, from personal, real time, right now, experience that it’s not always an easy thing to do. But there’s almost always an attitude adjustment to make here and work that we need to do if we want to see what’s really true. And for me a lot of it has to do with being nicer to myself, loving myself a little more and doing whatever I can to feel that connection with the part of me that can see things differently. When I manage to make that shift in my own perception, I can see everything around me as it is and see myself as I really am. And that doesn’t mean that I don’t slip back into self-debasement from time to time and it certainly doesn’t mean that I don’t see what needs changing in me. It just means that when either one of things comes to my attention, I can use what I know to remember myself.

I hope you’ll take the work that we did here today and make it part of your regular practice. Take whatever comes up and use it to learn something new about you.

Thanks so much for listening! Check out the links in the description to find show notes on the Something Honest Podcast Page and go to wellnessmeetings.com for more about the Wellness Meetings Method….. Something Honest is a Wellness Meetings production with original music composed and produced by James Mrotek at Mrotek Media.

This is Marta Mrotek sending out all the love and gratitude. Until next time, let’s get to work on being well.