Talking truth about "self-improvement" as it relates to health, overall wellness and expressing the truest version of you. This is Marta Mrotek with Something Honest…..

Sometimes loving someone is easy… Some people are easy to love. And that kind of effortless connection is a wonderful, magical thing. But finding what it takes to love someone who isn’t so easy, and finding compassion for the unseen challenges of others can take real concentrated effort. And to find some degree of love for everyone, in every situation?.. Can take a whole lot of willingness and focus. But it helps to remember that the underlying difficulties and virtues of other people aren’t necessarily yours to discern. You are only being asked to remember that everyone has them.

Today we’re going to start working on creating a practice for the Love Principle and a practical method for using the list that you made for the Study Journal to increase compassion and understanding for the people on that list. And fortunately, this kind of work is very useful for improving all of your relationships, especially the ones that might feel challenging at times.

There is so official story that goes along with the physical posture that we’re using for Love but there is a little bit of background that applies to its name and how the basic idea of something we call heart openers in yoga can be applied to various physical expressions. We’ve been talking about the Sanskrit names for the warrior poses and where they come from and if you’ve been listening you already know that all of them refer to a Hindu hero named Virabhadra. We did talk a little bit about the ongoing debate in yogic circles over whether the pose name for Humble Warrior even makes any sense or not since our hero was in fact a seemingly heartless avatar of Shiva, the destroyer. And that gets even more attention here in a posture that is sometimes called open hearted warrior, or Anahata Virabhadrasana. So, we go from a bound and fully surrendered warrior to one who’s now bound with an open heart and many yoga teachers find this even harder to swallow. This idea of him being open-hearted. But once again I live in the camp that says that this is how our hero managed to stay so connected and tuned in to a higher perspective and ultimately where he found all of his power. And I stand by that as a really great example for all of us in general and a strong physical expression of what we need to do if we want to find that kind of motivation and willingness ourselves.

Physical Practice

And when we start talking about how to perform the physical posture, we can pick up right where we left off in Humble Warrior. If you need a visual reference for that or for the one that we’re going to be working on today you can find both on the Something Honest Instagram account. So, from that last position with the fingers interlaced to bind the hands behind the back, again that’s baddha hasta, bound hands, bowed down with the head toward the floor and the arms pulled up over your head. You’ll hold that strong foundation with the legs and keep pressing down through the feet, using your inhale to look up and lift the chest, opening up the heart space. And if you were to go back and listen to the instructions for the Humility Practice, maybe you already clearly remember, that this pose right here actually bookends the Humble Warrior pose. The heart opener comes before and after the surrendering posture. I just like to hold this a little longer than most teachers do to emphasize the opening of the heart and the idea that in that act of surrender, taking the time to find clarity and compassion for ourselves, we can rise up with more clarity and more compassion for everybody else.

Like I’ve been saying the work we’re doing here with learning to Love other people is very much entangled with the work that we’ve already done on learning to Love ourselves. And the hand gesture that we’ll use for today’s practice holds a strong visual image for growing that kind of energy and opening ourselves up when it comes to all matters of the heart. Padma, or lotus mudra has an inspiring survival story behind it that points to our own true potential and the strength and beauty that can come from facing harsh conditions and hardship. Its beginnings are always humble, born in the mud and surrounded by murky water, every Lotus flower must be deeply grounded to survive. But in spite of these really lowly and unlikely beginnings surrounded in darkness these flowers are built to last. They just keep reaching for the light until they finally make it to the surface where they can blossom. And if that analogy isn’t quite enough for you there’s this really great quote, surprisingly not from some famous sage or guru but actually from Goldie Hawn that says it really well.

She says, “The lotus is the most beautiful flower, whose petals open one by one. But it will only grow in the mud. In order to grow and gain wisdom, first you must have the mud --- the obstacles of life and its suffering. ... The mud speaks of the common ground that humans share, no matter what our stations in life. ... Whether we have it all or we have nothing, we are all faced with the same obstacles: sadness, loss, illness, dying and death. If we are to strive as human beings to gain more wisdom, more kindness and more compassion, we must have the intention to grow as a lotus and open each petal one by one. ” 

And really isn’t that exactly what we’ve been doing here? Working through the principles together one by one. Addressing all the different parts of ourselves one at a time and now really starting to put it all together. And often this hand gesture and almost anything that has to do with the lotus flower relates to awakening and enlightenment. And even though we might not, you know, quite be there just yet. To me this work, that we’re doing right here, right now with this principle is where we finally break the surface. This is where we start to blossom and as we start opening up, opening our heart and minds to possibility something new is growing, all of those intentions that we’ve been setting are just starting to take physical form. This is where we will start seeing results showing up in the world around us and life really starts to change.

So we’re going to take a quick break here and we’ll add onto the three part integration process with a practice for increasing compassion and the Love Challenge.

We’re back and working on the second part of another three-part practice, with our intentions set on the process of Integration and a Ritual for increasing compassion and respect for others.. If you don’t already have it you’ll want to get your journal and a comfortable place to sit.

Compassion Ritual

Once you’ve got everything you need you’ll want to get yourself set up in a comfortable seated position, sitting tall with a straight spine. And as you take your first deep breath or tow here you’ll want to go back again, always to that idea of grounding and feeling the contact point where your body meets the floor the chair. And then another breath or two working on reaching up through the crown of the head, trying to keep your chin either parallel with the floor or just slightly tucked. Shoulders should stay relaxed, pulling them back and down, feeling the chest gently lifting. And once you feel comfortable here you start with the hands resting on the knees or thighs with the palms facing up, for bringing energy levels up or facing down for calming anything that feels hectic or overactive.

 Okay… if you’re all ready to go we’ll pick up here again by pretending? Just practicing for sometime when you really need this, and imagining that you just noticed a seemingly negative thought, emotion or physical reaction that points to someone that you’ve been judging or struggling with in any way. Once again, this doesn’t have to feel like a huge thing or even something that feels specifically negative. We are using here to work on growing positive emotions in challenging situations but you can also use it to increase the love the relationships that are already positive. For this example, though we would be noticing emotions that might feel like resentment, blame or anger. Even if you feel justified in those feelings, paying attention to anything that feels like you’ve been passing judgement on the behavior of any other person. ... And as soon as something comes to mind, you’d stop what you were doing, and if you can, close your eyes and take a big deep breath. Taking a big breath in through the nose and an audible exhale to sigh it out through the mouth. Remember, you can do this next part mentally with your eyes open, but if your eyes are closed and your hands are free, we’re going to start again by rubbing the palms of the hands together… Breathing normally, start increasing the amount of friction between the hands, adding a little extra effort they feel nice and warm. And when it feels right hold them out like you’ve got that big glowing energetic ball right in front of your chest. And exactly like we’ve done before, while the sensation is still strong see if you can manipulate the edges of that big ball of Energy. And at some point starting to press in slowly, mentally condensing that energetic ball, moving in small increments, this time squeezing out anything that keeps you from seeing the whole truth about any other person. Breathing as you move the hands toward center, reminding yourself that it’s okay as the sensation starts to fade, and eventually feeling the fingertips touch, readjusting to line them up if you need to, and holding both hands close to your chest. And we’ll take a big breath here just to affirm the fact that absolutely everyone does carry a spark of divinity and something that is entirely good. So, breathe in deeply and exhale completely. With your next inhale flatten out the palms so the hands are together at the center of the chest, palms pressed, all of the fingers lined up in that prayerlike position…. and a big exhale here to hold. Breathing in now spread the fingers out with palms still pressed and as you exhale interlace the fingers so that they’re bound together. At first the hands are bound tightly pressing the palms together right at heart center.. And when you’ve got it just how you want it bring the hands in close and take just one slow deep breath here... Start with empty lungs and breathe in connecting with everything that’s good and true about you... Holding at the top of the breath just for a moment to affirm it... and then with a long soft exhale let go of anything that doesn’t line up with that higher point of view and let that sink in for a second… With your next breath, slide the hands up just an inch or two, still bound and in close to the body, rising up to what we sometimes call the higher heart center. Keeping the heels of the hands pressed together, just as they are, start to open the fingers slowly, maybe imagining the petals of the lotus opening one at a time, so that the little fingers and thumbs are still touching and all of the other fingers open up wide and away from each other, fingertips extending up and reaching, just beneath the collar bones. And we’re about to take three slow deep breaths here to picture the heart opening to the idea that the very same thing, some of that same good stuff, must be there, at least on some level, in everyone… so big inhale… holding to grow that feeling at the top and a big exhale to let go of all the filters and expectations that keep us from being able to believe it. Now you’re at the bottom of the breath… breathing in again with more intention. Feel the chest lift and hold to feel the positive energy build… and making the exhale more forceful, pushing away any kind of negativity or judgement. Last breath, making it the best one, breathing in deeply, feel the lungs expand... holding for as long as you can, growing energy at the top of the breath… and when you just can’t hold it anymore great big sigh… And breathing in and out through the nose we’ll set our intention here, “I find True Love and respect as I recognize the True Nature of others.” Just another breath or two here, growing your understanding of that higher Truth as it relates to everybody else… and I want you to choose someone you love, just picturing them in your mind and we’ll go through our version of the metta meditation moving the hands back and forth from this open lotus position to that bound hands, venus lock, growing and extending love toward that person that your holding in your thoughts. With your next inhale, keeping the hands at that higher heart position, interlace the fingers so they’re bound, as if you were sending out a wish or a prayer for the happiness of that person…  and with your next exhale opening up the fingers again with a blessing for spiritual, mental and physical health… inhaling binding the hands for peace in all of their challenges… and exhaling opening up with hands again sending out feelings of abundance, good fortune and wealth in every area of their experience… and it’s usually pretty easy to recognize all of the good things about that person that you love so affirm them as you hold here for a breath or two, …

Moving on now to imagine a mere acquaintance or maybe even someone that you find challenging and again using your inhale to interlace the fingers, remembering all of your own challenges and everything good about you that might be hard for other people to see, wishing happiness for that person in spite of any difficulties... with your exhale open the hands, extending thoughts for that person’s physical, mental and emotional health and welfare… inhaling drawing the hands into the venus lock position, looking for the balance, and the perspective to respect your boundaries, your own peace of mind and wishing the same for them.. and one more exhale, opening up the hands like the lotus, rising up to a higher perspective and offering feelings of abundance, wealth and fortunate outcomes for that person… Breathing here, remembering everything you know about you… and using that to recognize and affirm everything that’s good about them, even if it’s hard to see.. knowing that you lose nothing by wishing them well and that all of your relationships improve when you apply a little more love… and extending those feelings of compassion and respect for the journey of others to absolutely everyone… picture it moving out in every direction as you breathe.. from the center of your own little circle... and moving out in every direction… knowing that you can use this to increase the love in your life for any person, to heal any situation, at anytime…

Resolving now by bringing the hands down to rest in your lap or on the thighs, palms facing up here, still open, still receptive, still expressing and sending out all of that good feeling energy … Still really tapped into that part of you that knows who you are.. The part of you that knows love.. that IS love.. that feels loving… and knows that everyone is worthy of love… extending those feelings of oneness and compassion and knowing that it’s not so hard to do if you picture it coming from that huge and brilliant part of you…

Letting the breath move naturally, not trying to control it. Noticing, any energetic shift, any shift in attitude. Affirming any healing that might have happened or might still be happening… Recognizing any change in your state or shift in perspective and allowing any information that floats to the surface... Taking special note of what you’re feeling now. Maybe taking just a moment to mentally or verbally affirm your intentions... Maybe just to open yourself up a little more… or to gain a deeper understanding of the people around you… and that loves that lives in the heart of the warrior. Staying here until you recognize the desire to move. But not moving just yet. And this time asking yourself, “What can I do to understand other people better? To judge them less? Or just to accept them as they are knowing that they have their own struggles and that they have to find their own way?” Still looking at that next right thing, whether it includes amends to be made or simply letting go... Still in touch with that Higher Version of you and letting it lift you up to a deeper awareness of yourself and others…. And when it feels right, open your eyes, do it slowly. See if you can hold still here for another breath or two… and if you have your journal nearby pick up your pen and write about your experience.

We’ve been using prompts to help you explore a little further for this one we’ve got, “What do I know about, not just myself, but everybody else too, and what is the Highest Truth about them?”  Taking as much time as you need to write about everything that you’ve learned about this principle, maybe listing some of the really positive traits that you see in whoever you’ve been picturing in your mind and maybe even some ideas for how you might express more compassion and more kindness in your everyday life. This is always a great time to explore ideas for making this part of your regular practice, and maybe taking some of what you’ve learned about setting up starting triggers that can remind you when you need to work on opening up your heart.

If you’re ready wrap things up we’re going to go back to the Challenge Question for Love just once more…

Challenge Question

We’ve been asking, “How can I turn my judgement into understanding?” And hopefully that question gets easier to answer as you practice. I do know that this one can take some time and as we move on to work on Discipline we’ll have some more tips that will be helpful for training your mind to look for the best in other people. It’s not always obvious and it’s not always easy, but there is always something good there if you take the time to look for it.. even if it’s just looking for the best in you, even if that’s all you can see at first, even if that’s still fragile, combining the principles of Humility and Love with this simple seated practice gives you an opportunity to grow compassion for yourself and others at the same time.

We’ve got a link in the description for the Something Honest Instagram if you’d like a visual reference for today’s pose so go check that. We’re always looking for follows, likes and always asking for your feedback and interaction to help me make this what you need it to be.

As always thank you so much for listening. Be sure you’re all set up to get notifications and come back next week to start working on Discipline.

Check out the description to find the links for show notes on the podcast page and go to wellnessmeetings.com for more about the Wellness Meetings Method….. Something Honest is a Wellness Meetings production with original music composed and produced by James Mrotek at Mrotek Media.

This is Marta Mrotek sending out all kinds of love and endless gratitude. Until next time, let’s all get to work on being well!