Talking truth about "self improvement" as it relates to health, overall wellness and expressing the truest version of you. This is Marta Mrotek with Something Honest.

 I think it’s important for you to know that I’m not a medical doctor.. I’m a yoga teacher, and even though I do a whole lot of teaching, talking and writing about spiritual things, I really hesitate to call myself a spiritual teacher. I think we’re going to have to use that term pretty loosely..  I also think you should know that I do anticipate adult conversations with some adult language and some of that language might come from me… I just didn’t want to try and hide any of that from you on a show that’s all about something that’s intimate, and true. I want to talk about something real even if it’s not pretty. I already know it’s not going to be perfect, I just want it to be really honest.

Hey Everybody this is Marta and I am so excited to be here with all of you! Right from the start I want encourage you to stick around until the end for this week’s challenge question and I’ll tell you how to enter this season’s drawing to win our new intention setting card deck and guidebook. Check out the Season 1 Overview Trailer for more about how each episode is structured and how all four episodes each week work together. We’d love for you to play along with us on social media, we’ve got links in the descriptions to help us connect, and we hope that you’ll follow, subscribe and share to help us reach the people who need it most.

Over the last few weeks I’ve had a lot of people ask me who this podcast is for and I truly believe it’s for anyone who wants to explore options for overall health and wellness. While I have worked extensively with people who are in recovery specifically for addiction of some kind we’ve had people show up to work on all kinds of things, all the way from grief and codependency to generalized stress and negative thinking, I think most of us are in fact addicted something. It just might not be a chemical. Addicted to people, to having things a certain way, to our thoughts or anything really.

And just to be clear, I would strongly encourage anyone out there with a chemical addiction or any form of clinical depression to go find help, and to go  find it now, there are so many great programs out there, find something that applies specifically to what your struggling with, and then I hope you’ll come back and listen to this some more and it will be even more meaningful.

Today we’ll start working on the Principle of Truth and how you can start applying that principle right now to get grounded and acknowledge anything that might need to change, grow or GO in any area of your life. We’ll have a Talking Points Episodes every week this first season to get an overview of each Principle and start a conversation, hopefully one that I’m having with you as you respond through our weekly challenge questions but even more importantly, a conversation that you can start having with yourself. We’ve got six talking points to cover and the first one for Truth is Acknowledgement.

TALKING POINT 1: ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

So I’d like to start in kind of a round about way by pointing out that I did in fact call myself out for swearing in the first 60 seconds of our first episode ever for a reason. And I hope that doesn’t turn you off, there probably won’t be very much of it… But I think swearing can be a good example of something relatively small and automatic that really bothers some people and yet for other people it might just be no big deal. I use the swearing example pretty often when I’m explaining the process that we use for working with Truth. And, not so much because I walk around spewing profanity everywhere, because really I don’t, and certainly not because it’s the biggest or the only thing that I need to work on, it really isn’t. But more to give us something specific to work with, something to start with that may or may not need to change, that isn’t super huge, super personal or terribly painful.

Sometimes the big things are so obvious and so uncomfortable that they feel overwhelming and we might shy away from practicing at all just to avoid them. So if we start with some of these smaller things that can fly under the radar as what we might consider harmless habits, they can be a good way to start practicing the process without having to go to deep. Maybe there’s something like that that immediately comes to mind for you. Something relatively small that could point to something that might need to change but you’re not quite sure what to do with it. And whether you’ve got something or not, see if you can use my example as a way to start looking for some of those little things that you might be able to work with.

So why would we start with something that might not need changing? What if we’re talking about something that really is harmless? That’s part of what you want to figure isn’t it? If you at least take a look at some of those small things you can make a conscious decision about them, and if you do find something small that you’d like to change, you can use it to get ready for some of those really big things. Maybe some of those things that you think are small, maybe just little recurring patterns of negative thought, are triggers that lead to big things or point a bigger issue that needs your attention. If you’re not ready to tackle something huge just yet and there is something small that’s been bothering you, that might be a good place to start.

The Truth Principle is especially useful for figuring out what NEEDS to change AND what you want to create, what you want to see showing up on a regular basis, in your physical reality. And that process always starts with being able to recognize and acknowledge, possible areas for improvement. Right now, we just want to want to work on seeing things more clearly so we can make an honest assessment.

I truly believe that you’ll know you’re making real progress when the seemingly small things that never used to bother you start coming up. The way you feel about them can change over time and sometimes they’re just coming to the surface to bring up something bigger that might need changing. But the point is that it doesn’t matter whether you’re working with something really big or something really small because the principles can work for everything, but they only work with your permission. And that’s our second talking point.. Persmission.

TALKING POINT 2: PERMISSION

Now the question is that if I know the principles work on everything, and I’m doing the work, why would I still swear, ever? Still using that for our example. I mean why would I still do it even though I’ve done so much work with this kind of thing?

I just said we have to acknowledge something before we can make an honest assessment right?. And I have actually done that for swearing. So why do I still do it?

I have recognized and acknowledged my affinity for the sworn word and at least at this point in my life I am not fully convinced that it’s something I WANT to stop doing it. There are even times when I think it might be helpful for emphasizing a point but that’s not why I give it my permission.

I allow it, because I spent so many years worrying about what other people think and trying to be a certain way to please them, and I finally decided that I didn’t want to do THAT anymore. I took a long hard look at it and the bigger issue for me was about why was I so concerned with trying to hide it? At least for me it’s not something that I do when I’m angry, it’s something that I do when I’m comfortable. It’s something that I can and do refrain from in most situations, by choice, and maybe someday I won’t want to do it at all anymore. But it really is such a great example because that’s the way it is way it is with every big and small thing. Just pick one. None of this is really about swearing, it’s just one example of many things that we at least subconsciously agree to keep doing. Once we acknowledge it we can make a CONSCIOUS decision about whether or not we want to live with that particular behavior or thought process…. Is it harmful? For me the answer was no… Is it part of something bigger? For me the answer that was yes, it was a part of something bigger, it was pointing to something I decided I didn’t want to hide… and with or without the swearing it was actually that comfortable, vulnerable part of me that I didn’t want people to see. I finally decided that at least at this point I’m way more concerned with working on being real.  I don’t worry much about that particular habit anymore. And having made that decision, it’s important to repeat, that it doesn’t have to stay that way forever. You’re allowed to change your mind. There are lots of things that show up again, maybe even over and over again, before we decide to make a change. So at least to some extent, we’re always choosing what we’re willing to live with… Even with something seemingly small like swearing but certainly with those really big painful thought patterns and behaviors that you would think so obviously need to change, the ones that are truly making us miserable. With or without our conscious consent, we are in some way choosing those thoughts, and sometimes thoughts that lead to certain behavior, by continuing to think them… that recognition, that at least on some level we are giving it our permission is really our first milestone in the process.

Now for most of us that kind of thinking doesn’t feel like something that we do on purpose, it usually feels like something automatic… or somehow outside of our control… which brings us to Talking Point Number 3.

TALKING POINT 3: DENIAL, REASONS AND EXCUSES

We’re going to lump all of those together and you’ll find out why in just a second. So you might ask, if unlike my swearing by choice example, we find something that we don’t really want to do anymore why would we keep doing it on purpose? 

But I didn’t actually say that we do it on purpose did I?... Once something turns into a habit we start feeling like it’s out of our control. And it is! Until we acknowledge it and make a very conscious decision about what comes next. That can be hard to hear, but it’s so helpful to know that it’s really pretty normal, that’s how most of us feel. I think that’s just part of the human experience, it’s a big part of the learning process. Even with the really huge and painful things, even if we have extremely good, super obvious reasons to repeat certain behavior or thought patterns it still holds true… because in some way all of those great reasons for whatever we’re doing, or not doing, boil down to, ultimately, excuses… and people usually hate to hear that at first but it’s actually really empowering information.

The next question that we get alot, is how is that empowering? I think some people feel like it’s almost insulting to call their pain an excuse. But Truth isn’t really so concerned with how good your reasons are, it is what it is… Most of us need a wakeup call or we’ll just keep repeating that pattern, and we might not even notice that there is a pattern because most of us are really good at lying to ourselves. And most of that isn’t on purpose either, we just fall into a certain thought pattern, what we sometimes call thought process addiction, and even if we know that process is increasing the pain in our lives, once it’s in full swing we have a hard time breaking the cycle. You can’t just push those thoughts away, and it won’t do any good to bury them. We have to see them clearly if we want to make a change. And it’s exactly the same thing with most behaviors as well. So, working the principle of Truth gives us some room to step back and look at things more objectively.

This is what we’ll work on in the challenge episode. If you take the time to get grounded you can look at whatever is floating to the surface of your attention without any judgement or shame, even things that might feel like they’re outside of your control, and assess them from a different point of view. It’s almost like stepping outside yourself so you can see the bigger picture. But the hard part is that at first most of us don’t really want to look it at. Breaking the cycle often feels more uncomfortable than living with the pain. And without that moment of clarity, being able to admit what needs changing, you really are powerless.

You know, the idea of “victim mentality” has been pretty controversial lately, and I understand why it might be a little offensive, but I still think it can be so helpful to identify the areas of your life where that might be valid. If there’s any part of you that feels like a victim something needs to change. And it starts with that idea of acknowledgement, really knowing, not only recognizing the Truth but really knowing it, leads to the end of all forms of denial. Even those really sneaky ones that don’t feel like denial. And that’s where you can start finding your true power. All we need now is a reliable method doing the mental work.

I think this is a good place for a quick break, we’ll be back in two minutes or less with how to start doing that work and our challenge for this week in just a moment.

We’re back with a few more Talking Points and a little bit about the method that we use.

TALKING POINT 4: OUR METHOD

First, I want to make it clear that I’m not trying to take credit for inventing the principles, it’s not like I made them up on my own, I actually think they’ve probably been around forever… just part of the way things work and this is just my spin. The format that I’ve used for over a decade lines up with the principles as identified by 12 step fellowships… I am a huge fan of step work because I believe it can work on anything but as far as our methods go, this is not a podcast about 12 step programs and Wellness Meetings are not what I would consider 12 step fellowships, primarily because I feel like a lot of people don’t think the steps for addiction would apply to what they’re going through. I feel like looking at the principles themselves might help people take a broader view of what recovery means and help them focus more on the overall wellness aspect. I think there a lot of people looking for that… and there is an answer that’s often overlooked because we think the Principles only work for alcoholics and addicts but I’m here to say that if it works for alcoholism and addiction isn’t there a pretty good chance that it works on a whole bunch of other things too? I’d also like to point out that these same principles show up in nearly every spiritual tradition, they might be in a different order or called by slightly different names but if you look for them they’re almost always in there somewhere. Fortunately for us, they can also be applied with any number of simple practices that help us get in touch, and at some point stay in touch, with what we usually call “a higher version” of you. Some people call this your True Self, some might consider it to even be a part of your soul or your spirit that is connected to the wisdom of a Higher Power. But that naming convention can vary greatly between different belief systems, without really having to alter the process. One of the reasons that I like to apply the principles as they relate to yogic wisdom is that just like 12 step wisdom it can be done without necessarily subscribing to any particular religious beliefs. Of course, there’s a huge culture around that to be honored and some of that does include religion but the yoga Sutras are more like a scientific study.

Yogic study is especially useful for providing supporting evidence about why we practice, and as a dependable resource for physically enhancing the energetic value of each Principle. I know the whole Energetic value thing can sound a little vague if that’s not already something that you’re familiar with but as we continue to move through the episodes I think it’ll make more and more sense. You don’t have to be into Yoga for that to work, just like you don’t have to be into the Twelve Steps, you don’t have to be a yogi or a Twelve Stepper for this to change your life. I’ve always been so fascinated by this little spark of magic and all the parallels that you can draw between these two teachings.. there’s something special that happens when you put it all together, something that I haven’t found with anything else and I promise if you do the work and just look it like it’s an experiment, like it’s a game and if you play things will start to change. Hang in here with me and TRY IT, just accepting the challenge and see what happens… and your life will start to look different, you’ll be different. Something new is going to grow if you make the space for it, give it your attention and your energy and it has no choice. And that is the basis for the method that we use to make a deeper connection with that truest version of you. We’ll talk about making that connection much more when we get to the Hope Episodes but the whole thing starts with acknowledging the Truth and creating an anchor point in the present moment where you can see things as they are and make that honest assessment. Then you can work on refining a reliable method for changing your point of view and changing your state. So, if you feel like you’re getting dragged around by your thoughts that’s a pointer to the need for grounding practice.

TALKING POINT 5: GROUNDING

Acknowledging the Truth is the first part of creating a foundation for change, just the first part but it’s like a corner stone for whatever you’d like to build. Part of that is preparing the soil for setting that stone. Sometimes I picture it like getting ready to build something very important (because that really is exactly what you’re doing) and clearing away all the debris to make a smooth solid space for this new and wonderful thing.  Good for us it really doesn’t take that long to get grounded when we’re practicing with intention, but it’s mostly about putting that method in place to remind yourself that you need to do it.

It’s easy for us to caught up in our heads without even noticing that we’re doing it. So much of the pain in our lives comes from living in the past or the future. Whether we’re rehashing something that already happened in the past or rehearsing for something that might happen in the future, when you’re caught up in that kind of thinking you’re not really here. The craziest thing to me is that those truly awful moments in life, for most of us, most of the time, are relatively few and far between. It’s the amount of time and energy that we spend thinking about them that makes the pain drag out and even intensifies the pain in most cases.  How can you fully appreciate anything good that’s happening right now when your head is always in that painful place?  You might actually feel like it’s happening ALL the time. For most of us it’s extremely difficult to pinpoint the moments that lead to that kind of thinking. Like I said until we acknowledge it and look at it from a different point of view, it’s got our permission to keep flying under the radar.

Grounding sets the stage, the beginnings of a strong foundation for change, with a stable point for acknowledging and assessing what needs to be healed or grown or released in any area of your life. That’s why most programs like this start with some kind of moral inventory, but what good is that if you can’t get grounded enough to even see what’s true? Most of us have to work on quieting our minds down a little bit before we can start making that honest assessment. And what if it feels like you can’t make your mind quiet? How do you find the quiet behind the noise? That can take some practice. Being able to recognize the Truth, being able to see it and hear it clearly, is essential for the information seeking process, and we’ll talk about some of the specific, mostly mental, exercises that can help with that in the Truth Challenge Episode so that we can start getting ready to take a more in depth inventory and study ourselves more deeply in future episodes.

There are simple grounding and meditation practices that can help you get in touch with a Higher Version of you so that you give yourself the best advice on every subject. Making a connection with that part of you starts with understanding your emotions.

TALKING POINT 6: USING YOUR EMOTIONS FOR GUIDANCE

One of the main things that I do when I mediate is something that we call information seeking. Not that I’m actively chasing after anything, really it’s just the opposite. The goal is to stop chasing thoughts and make room for information that comes up from that more quiet mind. I’m going to use the name for this podcast as an example for this one. Again, just looking for something that’s not too heavy and this feels like a good background story for how we got to this moment in time. For those of you who don’t know much about me, I consider myself to be primarily a yoga teacher but I’m also a writer, of sorts. And one book idea, that’s sitting on a backup hard drive somewhere, was meant as kind of an autobiography type thing, that just started whispering in the back of my head when I would meditate as something that I needed to explore. But the emotions coming up for me behind it felt something like despair, it wasn’t very uplifting, and I wasn’t sure how or even if I’d ever want to share it. I didn’t really know if would all that interesting or valuable to anyone but me, so it turned into more of a personal writing project. And as far as turning it into book goes that just sort of fizzled out. But the working title for that book was Something Honest: How do we get so addicted to living a lie? And that was more than 10 years ago, it’s still sitting there… and in, I think 2015 Something Honest started kind of whispering in my ear again when I was quiet, a little louder, and I got the idea to start a blog under that name. I had already done some professional blogging so that made sense, but for a number of different reasons the emotion behind that was something that felt like drudgery. I couldn’t get myself to make the time for it. I didn’t have the right kind of energy for it. And life got crazy and I was like forget this and that almost immediately fizzled out as well.

But Something Honest was just one of those things that kept floating to the surface of my attention on and off for years and the emotions that went along with it were changing as time went on. And just real quick I think it’s good to mention that Information Seeking doesn’t only apply for finding out what needs to change in relationship to the seemingly negative aspects of your life, it’s not always about a nagging feeling that points to something you need to stop doing, sometimes, often really when you start to make it a regular practice, it’s a feeling that points to something that needs to grow, something that wants to come into your life and needs your acknowledgement and the right kind of energy to manifest in a physical way. Sometimes that takes a while, and like in this particular case, sometimes it doesn’t turn out to be what you think it would be when it first comes to you. You don’t always know what to do with that information right away but with practice you start to feel it more and hear the message more clearly. And THAT brings us to understanding how your emotions can be used for guidance. They’re a way to get feedback from your Higher Self or whatever you want to call that part of you that knows everything. Esther Hicks, is one of the main people that I hear talking about this. If you know anything about her you have certainly heard about what she calls the Emotional Guidance System. And while what we’re doing here doesn’t quite line up with that specific system there is something about the general idea that is so worth exploring. I really believe that your feelings are there to tell you when you’re in or out of alignment with who you’re meant to be, or doing what you were meant to do, or living how you were meant to live.. If you didn’t have them how would you ever even know that something didn’t feel right. Outside of huge signs falling from the sky I can’t think anything that would really work. So anyway, when we started to get serious about the need for more online presence, especially once the whole thing with Covid 19 started, we had to do something different to keep spreading the message effectively. And that’s when Something Honest started blaring in my ears whenever I would write or meditate, and the feeling behind that was joy, it was totally purpose driven and easy to get excited about, even though my life is still pretty crazy. And the idea for this podcast was born in that space. And I’m sure that some of what was in that original writing from over ten years ago, will find its way to the surface again in what we’re doing here.

We have to agree that no real progress can be made until we acknowledge what needs to change, what needs to grow and what needs to go. We have agreed that you probably already know what that is for you… I think pretty much everybody does, at least on some level.  If you say there’s nothing, I have to guess that you’re either in some form of denial or wildly blessed. But I’m a big proponent of the idea that just about everyone is recovering from something. And there’s always something to work on, AND it’s rarely just ONE thing that needs to be addressed.  I think that’s most often the case, so you don’t really have to dig too deep, there’s usually something really obvious and emotionally charged that keeps coming to the surface and that’s a good place to start.

So there you have your talking points for Truth:

·      All meaningful change starts an acknowledgement.

·      Nothing will change until you give your permission.

·      Don’t let your really good reasons turn into really good excuses.

·      Put a method in place to change your point of view and change your state.

·      A great place to start is always grounding practice

·      And once your grounded you can start using your emotions to understand the information that comes up.

Again, we will put all of this together in the practice challenge episode. Right now, it’s time for this week’s challenge question and how to play!

CHALLENGE QUESTION AND HOW TO PLAY:

So this is our first challenge question ever… “Do you think it’s harder to hear the Truth, or to tell it?” And you can answer that question any way you like but if you’re looking for the deeper meaning of this Principle you might consider not just hearing it with your ears coming from someone else’s mouth, but maybe whether or not it’s hard to even recognize?... Is it hard to hear that quiet voice inside? And when you do hear it how does it feel? If you think it’s harder to tell it, maybe go a little deeper than just saying something honest and consider how it feels to actually express it? Is it hard to stay to true to that internal guidance and live what you believe? I just want you to let that roll around in your head for the next few days. We’ll come back to at the end of each episode and maybe your answer will change as we do some of this work together.

There’s really no way to do this wrong. If you’d like to play along you can respond to the Truth Challenge on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter or even on YouTube by following, commenting or creating your own posts to play. It can be simple text, a picture of something that inspires you or a photo or video that relates not only to this question but anything that comes up for you in relationship to the Truth Principle. Just don’t forget to include the tags, #somethinghonest and #truthchallenge for this one so we can find them. All you have to do to qualify for this season’s drawing is to follow or subscribe on any platform and then leave a comment on one of our posts, maybe say, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED, or something like that, so we know you want in! You can get one entry for each social media platform so stay tuned at the end of every episode for more ways to play and win your own copy of our brand new and soon to be released intention setting card deck and the Principle Intentions Guidebook. If you’d like more details check the links in the description or go to our podcast page at somethinghonest.com or wellnessmeetings.com, they both go to the same place.

Make sure you’re all set up to get notifications, next up, you’ll want to check out our Truth Study Journal episode, where I’ll talk about some of benefits of grounding practice, how to know when you need to practice and some journaling prompts to help you get the most out of your experience. Don’t forget to check out all THREE Truth Episodes to start acknowledging what needs to change and start living with even more authenticity in your everyday life.

Before we go I did want to shout up and out to my sister Susan who passed away a year ago today very suddenly. She was by far the most honest person that I’ve ever met, the last to go (besides me) from my family of origin and I just hope that somehow what’s happening here honors all of them, especially Susan and the way she lived her Truth every single day.

So many thanks to all of you for listening. Check our links in the description to find show notes on somethinghonest.com and go to wellnessmeetings.com for more about the Wellness Meetings Method….. Something Honest is a Wellness Meetings production with original music composed and produced by James Mrotek at Mrotek Media.

This is Marta Mrotek sending out all the love and gratitude. Until next time, let’s get to work on being well.